"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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