He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
