we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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