I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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