It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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