New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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