Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
