I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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