We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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