you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize