So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
