Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
