I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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