as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
