hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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