Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
