got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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