My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize