we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
