btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I can't turn off my feet"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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