Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just want nice things and good sex
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
