Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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