I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
