I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
