Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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