Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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