just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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