Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
