dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud š³
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didnāt make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Some sorority went āDick or Treatingā at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
