A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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