Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize