Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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