So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I still have a little drunk in my system
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize