U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
