It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Even the bartender felt bad for me
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
