She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
