For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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