We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
