I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
