He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
