We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
