I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
