She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
