I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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