There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
