Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
