OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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