I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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