we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Barsexuality is the new black.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
