I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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