Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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