I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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