You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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