youre lurking in front of me
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
