Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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