What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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