Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
