would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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