i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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