Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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