i barfeds in our rink
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
