I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
